October 22, 2006

"There's something about a man carrying the world’s ills on his back that makes us want to lie down on ours."

S.S. Fair writes a scary, hilarious essay about her taste for men with ruined faces.
One night I went to dinner with a very handsome, known-the-world-over movie star, and every other woman in the place was making plans to poison my mahi-mahi. Movie Star was quite used to his dates continually getting death threats, but after one or two nights of that, I went back to the guys with ruined faces who fell down on their knees in gratitude that someone not drooling or crazy or beastlike would deign to love them a little, and be there to wipe the tears from their bloodshot eyes — which were spaced just a little too close together.

It’s the Florence Nightingale trap, I think. Even if you were raised by feminists and the men who divorced them, females are still hard-wired to be accommodating and supportive, the shadowy figure behind the throne....

And who’s your ruined man? When you see the dissipated face of Hugh Laurie as House, maybe your fantasies don’t go horizontal, but there’s a character that needs saving, and the challenge is almost irresistible. When you see Jeremy Irons on-screen, you’re looking at the wreck of the Hesperus, a beautifully ruined face that could have seen the fall of Rome or fought at Agincourt with the rest of the dissolute Englishmen, like Bill Nighy in “Love Actually,” or Terence Stamp in anything, or was he not quite ruined enough? Standing alongside all of them is the ghost of Richard Burton, all pocked and anguished and icily composed.
I'm sure somewhere there's the equivalent essay written by a man who's ecstatically in love with the ruined faces of women. It's harder to find fabulously ruined actress faces these days, though, as the actresses tend to go for ruin by surgery -- and it would be awfully creepy to be into that sort of ruin.

12 comments:

Meade said...

"...guys with ruined faces..."

Meade said...

"...ruined faces of women..."

Ann Althouse said...

Borgnine's face wasn't ruined. He was always ugly!

tiggeril said...

That's why there's quite a few of us who find Gordon Ramsay quite sexy.

Eugene said...

Granted, Felicity Kendal was always a babe, but it's great to see her, at age 60, in Rosemary & Thyme, not hiding the wrinkles and still looking great.

knox said...

I'm sure somewhere there's the equivalent essay written by a man who's ecstatically in love with the ruined faces of women.

I'm not so sure. I don't think there's many men out there willing to love a "ruined face," unless their own is at least equally ruined. Don't get me wrong--I believe most men don't like the botoxed, stretched look, at least outside of L.A. But I just don't believe many are attracted to older-looking-than-they-are women, like we are able to find older men sexy.

*Maybe you meant that sarcastically? Can't tell.

Ann Althouse said...

Knoxgirl: There has to be at least one guy! I was under the impression that for anything at all, there is always at least one guy who is into it. So I think there are even guys who are into faces that have been ruined by bad plastic surgery.

Anonymous said...

Greatest Facelift Ever

Hey said...

This has to be the best quote: "Even if you were raised by feminists and the men who divorced them". Says so much about the 70s and 80s, and the feminist movement.

Doug Sundseth said...

"I'm sure somewhere there's the equivalent essay written by a man who's ecstatically in love with the ruined faces of women."

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you"

It's not an essay, but it's got a great tune and you can dance to it. I'd give it an 81.

knox said...

ugh, the hero's mother in Brazil makes me queasy. Great movie...

useless ducks said...

Tina Fey is painfully lovely and people obsess about her scar at least $5 worth.