September 7, 2014

NPR cogitates lamely about football songs, and I have to wonder whatever happened to heroes and what was Olive Oyl's game?

An emailer wrote to NPR's Stephen Thompson ("the good listener") about the dearth of football songs: "While drafting our fantasy football teams last week, my friends and I were trying to brainstorm great songs about football — and mostly coming up empty." And Stephen Thompson experienced some emptiness of his own:
For some reason, most of the football-specific songs I've encountered have succumbed to at least one of three temptations: to pledge allegiance to a specific team, to mirror the speed and brutality of the game, or to use football as a mechanism for marketing a product. All three approaches stand in the way of a unifying anthem, especially now that the modified "All My Rowdy Friends" — with its immortal chorus of, "Are you ready for some football?!" — has been largely removed from popular circulation.
Why is "All My Rowdy Friends" out of circulation? According to Thompson: "ESPN pulled "All My Rowdy Friends" off its football telecasts back in 2011, due to some controversial statements [Hank Williams Jr.] had just made in an interview." What awful thing did Williams say? At the link, I see that he used hyperbole in a comic analogy: Obama playing golf with John Boehner would be "like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu." We've forgotten it now, but at the time, we just couldn't let it go, apparently. And now football has no song.

In the old days, everyone knew the song that even without the lyrics meant football. It was the 1933 song "You Gotta Be a Football Hero." Here it is by Ben Bernie & All The Lads. And here it is in the Popeye cartoon:



The NPR writer, who has the sads about "the speed and brutality of the game" and can only gesture at The Terrible Hitler Analogy of 2011, lamely gravitates to football song to about watching football on television. He thinks he has a good idea: Replace "All My Rowdy Friends," with its TV-watching theme, with "It's Time To Party," but with new lyrics "It's Time for Football." In the old days, you were pressured to play football yourself:
You got to be a football hero
To get along with the beautiful girls
You got to be a touchdown-getter, you bet
If you want to get somebody to pet
You — and the "you" meant you young men — were told to play football, not watch it on TV, and it was assumed that you were eager to get to "pet" "beautiful girls." Apparently, these days, you're just excited that a football game is on television and you have some male friends who will watch TV with you. That's your "rowdy" "party," sitting around with men, and watching other men play the game is the end in itself. And you write letters to a man at NPR to help you think of a song and he can't even think of that song from the time when the men not only needed to play football, but playing football was not the end in itself — there was a further end, the petting of beautiful girls.

But I suppose these "rowdy" TV-watching males still get their beautiful girls, and these girls go far beyond petting. Yes, yes, I know some of the girls — we don't say "girls" anymore (except when referring to that TV show "Girls") — some of the young woman put earnest effort into decrying the way these young males today grasp after sex, the speed and brutality of the game.

What happened to all the heroes? What happened to the demand for a hero? Are we even capable anymore of understanding a Popeye cartoon? Who the hell was Olive Oyl and why was she able to command heroics? It is a mystery long forgotten.

56 comments:

rhhardin said...

As a former high school band member, everything about football sucks.

You got pressed into football service if you were in the band.

Also politician speech service on patriotic holidays, which also suck.

Mary Beth said...

Backfield in Motion, it isn't about football but uses football terms. That's as footbally a song as I can come up with, at least until I'm more awake.

Ann Althouse said...

I suspect that musicians and singer-songwriters tend not to be the football players of this world but the guys who were horrified at the prospect of getting pressed into football service if you were in the band.

Ann Althouse said...

Wikipedia summarizes Olive Oyl's "personality": "Although she is a typical 'damsel-in-distress' character and the fact that she is quite loyal to Popeye, she is quite fickle, demanding and selfish, because she seems to blame others for her own mistakes. She also seems to pay no attention to Swee'Pea, due to her inexperience with children. Olive Oyl is also absent-minded, short-tempered, cowardly, foolish, shallow, inattentive and rarely seems to be brave."

Birches said...

Yep, that was it for Hank williams Jr. because racist or something.

As for sports songs, I've always been partial to Centerfield

I know Thunderstruck isn't a football song, but it always seems like it to me.

John said...

"Boys of Fall" Kenny Chesney, great football song.

Anonymous said...

I can still sing the Cal drinking song...

Anonymous said...

Then again, "white" knight would probably cause rioting and looting if that song was ever used for the NFL.

George M. Spencer said...

Perhaps the answer is as close at hand as the Sept. 8 issue of The New Yorker.

The lead piece in 'Talk of the Town' restates recent events in Iraq and Pres. Obama's reaction and concludes by saying that for ISIS to be "defeat[ed], but also to reduce its source of strength" [why the parenthetical digress, I don't know] the president will have to do more than "just air strikes." It adds that Obama should engage in the "hard, uncertain work" of building a coalition like the first president Bush whom the essay writer seems to think Obama admires. The piece lacks vigor, bite, and, most of all, courage to criticize Obama or suggest some bold strategy.

Meanwhile, buried in the issue is an essay by the elderly John McPhee on college football. The heart of the piece is McPhee's admission that he disobeyed his father about a football-related matter and then while age 10 and shivering on the sidelines he recounts that he looked up at the press box in Princeton's Palmer Stadium and imagined everyone there to be warm and dry, and he "decided then and there to become a writer." Such bravery!

Personally, I liked Glenn Reynolds' call for a Curtis LeMay strategy in Iraq.

It seems that practically everything leaves our ruling class totally cold, as Cole Porter might say. It doesn't even fight vainly the old ennui but instead embraces it.

Birches said...

Oh man, I forgot all about that Bonnie Tyler song. It had to be part of a Rocky montage, didn't it?

Rusty said...

My stepdad had a beautiful bass singing voice. He sang in more than a few barbershop quartets. Name a college and more often than not he could sing the football fight song.
The most fun drunk I've ever known.

Birches said...

I just remembered, it was Footloose wasn't it?

Big Mike said...

Where are the heroes? You thought you were voting for a hero back in 2008. The heroes are all around you, ma'am, but 21st century females in the United States think that they're looking at a chump when they're looking at a hero and think that they're looking at a real hero when they're looking at a chump.

JimT Utah said...

Two great football songs:

Buckle Down, Winsocki

Fight Fiercely, Harvard

Either you're too young or I'm too old.

wendybar said...

It's pretty sad, that having an opinion that differs from other the politically correct crowd can banish you and your work from the public. If Hank Williams Jr. had said that about GW Bush, do you think he would have gotten the same reaction????

Ann Althouse said...

@JimT Utah

Thompson excluded the songs that "pledge allegiance to a specific team."

Ann Althouse said...

Winsocki is the name of a school in the musical "Best Foot Forward."

Bill R said...

Notice that all the men cheering in the stands are wearing jackets and ties.

Michael K said...

"I can still sing the Cal drinking song..."

And I still remember the parody song.

"His teeth are out-he's got the gout-he doesn't know what it's all about..."

Ambrose said...

What about college fight songs? Not necessarily football, but most closely associated with it. Can Ann sing "On Wisconsin?"

chuck said...

"Who the Hell was Olive Oyl?"

Olive Oyl was trouble.

rhhardin said...

(radio turns on just before noon to capture Rush but it does it every day)

"You know, hockey enthusiasm never goes away any time of year in Central Ohio.."

I take it it's a sports talk show.

I was unaware that there was ever hockey enthusiam at any time of year in Central Ohio.

Real American said...

Mr. Touchdown, U.S.A

classic

Anonymous said...

Michael K said...

You went to Stanford?

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

All three approaches stand in the way of a unifying anthem, especially now that the modified "All My Rowdy Friends" — with its immortal chorus of, "Are you ready for some football?!" — has been largely removed from popular circulation.

I think he means "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight", "All My Rowdy Friends (Have Settled Down)" was an earlier lament about getting older along the lines of the Allman Brothers "No One Left To Run With".

Anonymous said...

So you want to control language and the lyrics in football songs?

What else would you like to control, Mr. (I use that term loosely) NPR writer?

As for my fellow Americans, you didn't think you'd get these 'civilizing' sorts and secular liberal do-gooders like this without moralism, and rules, and boundaries, and group-think, and trends and oughts and shoulds?

traditionalguy said...

While growing up in Atlanta the only time we kids were allowed to say "hell" was to sing it as loud as we could when attending Tech games. Ga Tech Engineers are like honey badgers, they just don't care. And To Hell with Georgia.

Writ Small said...

Let's not forget Adam Sandler's football hero in the song "The Lonesome Kicker," Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.

LoFan John said...

"Cheer boys, cheer. Our team has got the ball...Cheer, boys, cheer. Their line's about to fall..."Cause when we hit that line, there'll be no line at all.. There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight." Another song, about playing and watching as well.

Anonymous said...

Well, many seem to like soccer more than football, but as Althouse points out, they strike me band kids, psychology and English majors.

So, instead of football, would like they soccer chants as found in Britain, with deep class divides, yobs and hooligans, a release valve for centuries of rank and built-up hatred?

Would they like the crazy soccer atmosphere and tribalism of club football in Argentina, barrio by barrio, along with the social libertinism of that country, the failed economic policies and deeper poverty, the Latin strong man (or woman) political demagoguery and incompetence?

I'm guessing many NPR types want to live on or near a college-campus after a few years in the Peace Corps. They generally don't deal with budgets, and they loathe begging for money.

They want to speak for all of the public in a righteous little office near the Capitol building or a University quadrangle with their warmed-over 60's radicalism.

There they can gaze out the windows and dream of social justice from afar and plan a trip to the art museum next weekend, as a light-rail whizzes by, dragging perfectly equal people (mostly wealthy hipsterish students) magically to the future.

Unknown said...

"cogitates lamely".. I like that.

n.n said...

First, Progressive Confusion.

Second, Olive's game was the oldest game, the game of romantic competition. It can be brutal.

Finally, Progressive Confusion.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Dazed and Confused (1993):

Pink: "I mean, how many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?"

Don: "I don't know. A few, probably."

Pink:"Don, all I'm saying is I bet we could do just as well if we were in a band or something."

William said...

Buckle Down Winsocki was written not in the spirit of post modern irony but as an affectionate spoof of football fight songs. It stills gets a fair amount of play, but female singers like to sing it soft and low and seductively. Like they're Clara Bow serenading the USC football team......Olive Oyl was a nourishing, healthful presence in the Popeye cartoons. It's much healthier to eat spinach with Olive Oyl than with butter.

Carol said...

along the lines of the Allman Brothers "No One Left To Run With".

Ah, thanks I'd forgotten all about that one..so easy to find nowadays on Amazon.

I don't care about sports anymore but like "Put Me in, Coach" by Fogerty. But I guess that was a baseball song.

Jupiter said...

I used to like college football, but these days I see it as merely one more sickening aspect of the utter corruption of the modern American university.

But about this;
'we don't say "girls" anymore (except when referring to that TV show "Girls")'

It is still common journalistic practice to refer to grown women as "girls" when they are strippers or prostitutes. I am not sure why this is so (surely it must be politically incorrect?). It may be that the people who manage them refer to them that way, and others pick up the usage. I can't help but think that it is intended to emphasize their biddability and sexual appeal. At the same time, I suppose it is fairly common for an all-male group to be referred to as "the boys". It is always plural, even when it is singular -- "one of the girls", not "a girl".

virgil xenophon said...

"Oh we're a helluva crew from LSU and we don't give a damn..

We go to school to break the rules and flunk the damn exam,

To Hell with Mississippi and to Hell with Tulane too..

And if you don't like the Tigers, to HELL to HELL with you.."

Michael K said...

"Michael K said...

You went to Stanford?"

Nope. I hate Stanford after what they did in 1956 in allying themselves with the small colleges in the old PCC and penalizing the big schools for nonsense. That broke up the PCC and hurt the small schools, like Idaho, they thought they could kill off the major programs without killing the conference,

I went to SC, undergrad and medical school plus two of my kids. I was at the 1956 SC-Stanford game when Jon Arnett, after the game came over to the rooting section crying that they could not beat those bastards.

He was limited to only 6 games that year but he came back for his senior year. The UCLA QB, Ronnie Knox who was also limited to six games, left UCLA and went to Canada to play. He was Hollywood material, at least in his own mind.

Arnett was a fantastic athlete. I used to play golf with him. He took it up in college and within a year was playing in the 70s. He could have been a pro.

virgil xenophon said...

@Michael K/

You mean the 5-time LA Ram NFL pro-bowler "Jaguar Jon" Arnett, don't you?

(showing my age :) )

jaque222 said...

Lou Reed

I wanna play football for the coach.

Michael K said...

"You mean the 5-time LA Ram NFL pro-bowler "Jaguar Jon" Arnett, don't you?"

Yup. Great guy.

H said...

And then we'll crash through that line of blue,
And send the backs on round the end.
Fight, fight for every yard,
Princeton's honor to defend.

Rah Tiger, Sis-Boom-Bah,
and Locomotives by the score.
For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win
For Old Nassau.

rcocean said...

Great post. I like "Mr Touchdown". Never got why anyone would fight over OO - even as a six year old.

Edmund said...

Some good football songs:
"All Kinds of Time" by Fountains of Wayne.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po2rkkLoESk

"Sports Song" by Weird Al Yankovic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGbqGkS1c2w
"O.K. full disclosure, we're not that great, but nevertheless: You Suck!"

chillblaine said...

They should use Black Flag's song, "TV Party."

ganderson said...


RAH! RAH! SKI-U-MAH! RAH! RAH! RAH!

March on, march on to victory!
Loyal sons of the varsity.
Fight on, fight on for Minnesota
For the glory of the old maroon and gold.

March on, march on to win the game,
DOWN THE FIELD! Fighting every play.
We're with you, team, fighting team,
Hear our song, we cheer along
To help you win a victory!

Crappy team, pretty good song!

pkerot said...

What happened to the definition of the word 'hero'?


"Hero" does not apply to grown men playing a GAME with a little ball.

America will be a better place when little games take backseat to fighting for Freedom, and Liberty

Palmetto Patriot said...

I love this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuEkdPcf2wY

I know it's an ad, but it's catchy and shamelessly about all things football. It's tops on my "Football" playlist. Which has sadly few songs on it.

mikee said...

Texas A&M University has a good old fashioned (because it is old) Aggie War Hymn to sing at football game halftimes. Made all the more intense because we stopped playing texas university when we joined the SEC, and UT considered Oklahoma their main rivals for decades past, so now the song makes no sense at all.

Gig 'em!



Hullabaloo, Caneck, Caneck
Hullabaloo, Caneck, Caneck
Good bye to Texas University
So long to the orange and the white
Good luck to dear old Texas Aggies
They are the boys who show the real old fight
'the eyes of Texas are upon you'
That is the song they sing so well
Sounds like Hell!
So goodbye to Texas University
We're gonna beat you all to Chigaroogarem
Chigaroogarem
Rough, Tough, real stuff Texas A&M
So Good bye to texas university
So long to the orange and the white
Good luck to dear old Texas Aggies
They are the boys who show the real old fight
'the eyes of Texas are upon you'
That is the song they sing so well
Sounds Like Hell
So good bye to Texas University...
We're gonna beat you all to
Chigaroogarem
Chigaroogarem
Rough, Tough, Real stuff, Texas A&M

Saw varsity's horns off
Saw varsity's horns off
Saw varsity's horns off
Short! A!
Varsity's horns are sawed off
Varsity's horns are sawed off
Varsity's horns are sawed off
Short! A!

Acksiom said...

>What happened to all the heroes?

[shrug] You and your kind didn't do enough to protect, preserve, and promote the keystone of civilization.

jamrat said...

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life
End over end, neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them, righteous up rights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life.

Shawn Levasseur said...

Personally, I suspect ESPN wanted to ditch Hank Williams Jr as soon as they could, and the business about his political statements was a good opportunity for them to do what they wanted to do anyway.

In the first few years of Monday Night Football after having been moved to ESPN, they tried to keep as many of the trappings of the ABC show as they could.

But gradually they've been discarding the various features that made MNF unique and special, and gradually becoming just another night game.

Crossed Sabres said...

The local radio station in Toledo always opened their Saturday afternoon scoreboard show "The Musical Scoreboard" with the following Rudy Vallee classic.

They always call him Mr. Touchdown;
They always call him Mr. T.
He can run and he can throw;
Just give him the ball and look at him go!

Hip hip hooray for Mr. Touchdown;
He's gonna beat em today;
So, lets give a great big cheer
for the hero of the year;
It's Mr. Touchdown, USA.

Bill Peschel said...

Damn, chillblaine, you beat me to it. "TV Party" tonight defines our culture today:

TV party tonight!
TV party tonight!
We got nothing better to do,
Than watch TV and have a couple of brews!
Don't want to talk about anything else,
We don't want to know.
We'll set the station, yeah,
To our favorite shows!

Jeff with one 'f' said...

Some real Olive Oyl:

http://popeyepanels.tumblr.com/page/14

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m52vamTxZM1ropthqo1_1280.jpg

http://allgraphically.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/OliveOyl_3-1024x270.jpg

Edward said...

Football heroes, really ?
'We don't Need Another Hero'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq4aOaDXIfY

@St. George by way of Chesterton:

They have given us into the hands of the new unhappy lords,
Lords without anger and honour, who dare not carry their swords.
They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes;
They look at our labour and laughter as a tired man looks at flies.
And the load of their loveless pity is worse than the ancient wrongs,
Their doors are shut in the evenings; and they know no songs.