December 17, 2015

"And yet, for whatever reason, we continue to put the penis on a pedestal, severed from its full evolutionary context."

Last sentence of an article titled "Why Is No One Interested in Vagina Size?"

61 comments:

J. Farmer said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqBPJPzehZE

Warning: a little bit of NSFW language

rhhardin said...

Three to four inches. Cervix jostling is the norm.

AlbertAnonymous said...

Absolute Garbage. Never would have made it to print if actual paper and ink were still required.

MadisonMan said...

Really, women can say whatever they want to about the size of their vagina, and people will believe them.

Hello, thanks for buying me this drink, my name is Britney and I have a very capacious vagina!

Before I give this PowerPoint presentation, I'd like to point out that my Vagina is quite compact

Do these work-out clothes make my vagina look big? Because it's not, and I'm self-conscious about that.

Any one of those statements will make we walk in the other direction.

Now, if a man tells me Hello, my name is Rod and I have a foot-long dick, well, naturally I'll look to see if there is evidence, before walking away. Or if I hear Nice to meet you, my name is Peter, and I'm average-sized, well, maybe then I'll just walk away.

No normal person over age, say, 50, cares about body part sizes because they've watched people they love die and realize what's actually important.

Fen said...

Because it smells like a dead fish.

Ann Althouse said...

@J. Farmer Thanks for the link. (Here it is, clickable.) I thought it would go to that show, but I thought it would go not there but here.

Laughed a lot. At both!

Bill said...

"Severed"!

Ann Althouse said...

"Absolute Garbage. Never would have made it to print if actual paper and ink were still required."

Hey, that caused a CD called "Absolute Garbage" to display in the Amazon sidebar.

Wince said...

What about The Sopranos character, Big Pussy?

Gusty Winds said...

Haven't we always been equally concerned with breast size and penis size?

There is an entire cosmetic medical industry based on just making boobs bigger.

SGT Ted said...

Wow, more complaints about men from a woman. THAT never happens.

People ARE interested in vagina size; whether it's tight or loose. Has this idiot woman never heard of kegels?

Rumpletweezer said...

There are jokes. One involves Queen Elizabeth and a Rolls Royce.

GRW3 said...

Old Joke:

"Who are you going to satisfy with THAT?"

"Me"

Just like in car racing, however, cubic money beats cubic inches.

tim in vermont said...

I have always figured the same thing that Holly figures, therefore she is right.

Erich said...

"Penis on a pedestal, severed" -- worst public art installation, ever.

Bruce Hayden said...

You could look at it from the point of view that large vaginas tend to get sloppier, which translates into less physical pleasure for guys. And, yes, indicates either previously having delivered a baby and/or having a lot of sex, the latter in particular being a negative signal as to being able to guarantee paternity.

The big thing though, I think, is that a male can father a bunch of kids at one time, while a female can only mother (or gestate) one at a time. Thus, there is more evolutionary pressure on males. So, the guy with a big dick may be able to father a bunch of kids on a bunch of women, at one time, but that woman with the big (or small) vagina probably has the same chance of having that one kid at a time, regardless of vagina size (unless totally abnormal).

Static Ping said...

Apparently, someone has never heard the phrase "hot dog down the hallway."

But, yes, that last sentence is classic. The only question was whether it was intentional.

Birkel said...

Because heterosexual men are in no way interested in this topic?

Has the author met a heterosexual man?

FFS

Bob Ellison said...

I remember a few jokes about the subject. Not the kind of thing people write about in major newspapers.

Rae said...

Gentleman don't talk about vagina size. Garbage was a good band, twenty years ago.

Ann Althouse said...

""Penis on a pedestal, severed" -- worst public art installation, ever."

LOL. Yeah.

I did an image search for "penis on a pedestal" in the hope of finding a work of art that might work as an illustration for the post. I actually could find some penis pedestals -- that's easy to picture -- but not a penis on a pedestal.

Sal said...

Men ARE interested in vagina size. Honest!

Rumpletweezer said...

"I did an image search for "penis on a pedestal" in the hope of finding a work of art that might work as an illustration for the post. I actually could find some penis pedestals -- that's easy to picture -- but not a penis on a pedestal."

You're going to get pictures now.

walter said...

Well..things like this concealed carry incident certainly beg the question.

Then there's Hildebeast's secret weapon outfit.

walter said...


Blogger rhhardin said...

Three to four inches. Cervix jostling is the norm.
---
Seems to be such..when unaroused..

Anonymous said...

I love the idea of putting a penis on a pedestal. How do you do that?

Ann Althouse said...

For a work of art, I think the better approach would be a penis on a plinth.

damikesc said...

Also, it's easy for women to see penises.

You only have to ask.

Men saying "Yo, can I see your vag?" have WAY less success than women saying "Lemme see your cock"

walter said...

Penis on a podium..

rhhardin said...

Storm Large My Vagina Is Eight Miles Wide.

MacMacConnell said...

Does penis size matter, depends on the size of the vagina.

Penis on sort of a pedestal.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp71qgNNCV1qj17j9o1_500.jpg

JAORE said...

Calling Dr. Laslo....

I have a uuuuge penis = Good

I have a uuuge vagina = Bad

And I'm not even an Assistant Professor of Anthropology.

tim in vermont said...

The funny thing about evolution is that there might be a thousand reasons for something, completely unrelated, that all contribute to some end result. Speculation about any particular reason for anything is pointless aside from the entertainment value, of course, so here goes:

She sort of begs the question. Female preference could have led to selective pressures on men, which in turn led to larger vaginas, which in turn led to larger human head sizes... Humans have a very hard time thinking about evolution because it is as much effect and cause as it is cause and effect.

jacksonjay said...

Must say I was very disappointed! I thought surely this was more insight from Lil Lena Gotta Pee. It has been a while.

Doug said...

Bob Ellison says, I remember a few jokes about the subject. Not the kind of thing people write about in major newspapers.". Like, the one with the punchline that goes, "No, I don't have a flashlight, but if you help me find my car keys, we can drive out of here!"

tim in vermont said...

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round;
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
...

JAORE said...

I actually see the sciency part of her thinking. Anthropologists look for these type things. But the combination of penis jokes and male put downs obscured her point about the science of vaginal size.

The graphic didn't help.

But I predict a rash of ads looking for female Neanderthal hookups.

tim in vermont said...

I just *know* there's a mensuration/menstruation joke here, but I can't think of one.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

For a work of art, I think the better approach would be a penis on a plinth.

Anything's better than a penis at a lectern, even if he is repeatedly mistaken for a penis at a podium.

Rusty said...

Speaking only for myself, I've always considered vagina size. Can it adapt to my impressive girth without being, shall we say, too accommodating? Is the receptive organ of sufficient depth so as not to cause the recipient discomfort or not allow her to enjoy the 'full experience'.
Needless to say I've had to reject more than a few candidates for not being up to the task.

Do you know three two letter words for 'small'


Is it in?

William said...

Wouldn't the women with really small vaginas have died off in childbirth? There's also the concept of the sneaky fucker. While the bucks with the biggest horn racks are locked in combat to establish dominance, the does and the marginal bucks find a useful way to entertain themselves while the dominance order is being negotiated........A large vagina would enhance a woman's survivability. . A large penis less so. .........From what I've seen though, a large penis is a definite plus if you're looking to pursue a career in porn. Are there any women with a fetish for small penises in the way some men have a thing for fat girls?

tim in vermont said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bay Area Guy said...

Interesting topic, Althouse.

At Boot Camp, circa 1986, while marching on the grinder in the San Diego heat, in dungarees and carrying rifles that didn't shoot:

Your left 2 ..3 ..4
Your left 2 hunnerd and thirty four
If you like your pussy tight
Drag your left and stomp your right
Your left 2 ..3 ..4
Your left 2 hunnerd and thirty four


I reckon that cadence would probably be a hate crime in today's Obama-led military, but at the time, the votes on that particular anatomical issue would be for "smaller, rather than larger"

Ann Althouse said...

"By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced..."

As long as it's thick fast pants and not thick fast shorts.

AlbertAnonymous said...

King Missile. Detachable Penis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4

"He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17."

n.n said...

Actually, we put the vagina on a pedestal, while sequestering the penis in a cave. Today, both have acquired darker tones in the occult constructed from a penumbra.

Peter said...

"Doesn’t it make sense that for a penis to be useful it has to be somewhat correlated to vagina size? Wouldn’t you explain the size and shape of the key by the size and shape of the lock?"

Well, Mark Twain wrote about this, and of course in his time he couldn't do so directly, but instead of writing about "keys" and "locks" he wrote of "candles" and "candlestick holders."

And so, perhaps evolution favors elastic candlestick holders, ones which can accommodate a large variation in the size of candles, as opportunity may present itself. Especially as "candlestick holder" is also the birth canal, thus solving two problems with one adaptation.

Perhaps that's somehow unfair, but, really, nature doesn't care so much about that.

hombre said...

Ridiculous article confirming my suspicions about how academics spend their time.

Just for the record, vaginas only come in two sizes, tight and loose, both of which are determined by penis size. Ritmo, for example, believes all vaginas are loose.

tim in vermont said...

I'm thinking Lord Byron got considerably more tail than Coleridge.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Linking back to politics, Earl Butz had to resign as Ag Sec after it was reported he explained why Republicans didn't get more of the black vote by saying they only wanted 3 things: "a tight pussy, loose shoes, and a warm place to shit."

Frisky Dingo's Mr. Ford put his own spin on that: What Americans Really Want

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Predator: Hey Billy!

Titus said...

I have a big cock.

I want to use it as my new avatar.

Would that be ok?

Big Mike said...

On behalf of men everywhere, please do not juxtapose the words "penis" and "sever."

Rick said...

Predator (1987)
Hawkins: Billy. Billy! The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."

It's sexist if you bring it up, and it's patriarchy if you don't.

JAORE said...

If you don't have a large vagina, the odds of a rich middle eastern man tripping and accidentally entering you go way down.

Bob Ellison said...

Doug, as I heard it, it was a motorcycle.

Unknown said...

I love large labia, but that's probably another discussion.

Titus said...

I would be fine with a vagina avatar-that is totally cool.

But r u old straighties cool with seeing my large cock hard?

chillblaine said...

"...we can barely say the word vagina..."

Riiiight. Holly, you ladies won't shut up about it. There are vagina monologues, vaginal knitting, vagina bread, and vagina costumes available at Amazon. Patronize the Althouse "portal."

Joe said...

Yet another argument for getting rid of universities.

walter said...

Titus, you have to recruit the gal for the big vagina avatar first. Otherwise you are excercising male privilege and being a dick.